2009 Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize

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HNIC and GTCH

For those who don't know, the above acronyms stand for "Head Negro In Charge" and "Giving The Children Hell."


If you like football, or over the age of 50 you may already know that I appeared on 60 minutes tonight after the game. How about those Chargers?? Anywhitehouse, believe it or not I feel confident in my position as President Elect. With time I will prove this to you as well. The country is in a unprecedented crisis. You can thank the man in the below post for that.

We can reset the confidence in the financial markets to restore the economy. I'm determined to focus on a clear program for homeowners undergoing foreclosure. With that being said, I'm going to need everyone to do me a favor if your looking to buy a home.



(1)Stop Accepting Adjustable Rate Mortgages:

If you can't get approved for a fixed rate mortgage and drive around in a car with 22inch rims that you financed from a place where your job is your credit, you may need to fix your credit situation before you look into buying a home.

(2) Have verifiable income:

If two people apply for a loan for a four bedroom house and base their income on the hopes of having seven family members from across the border who make minimun wage pay the mortgage, you just might want to reconsider that three bedroom house.

(3) Have realistic expectations:

I've always said Yes we can, but in some situations, no we can't. Like many of the citizens of America's credit score. It's going to take a while for me to correct all the wrongs that have happened to this country this past century. Rome was not built in a day.

I started off just like many of you, great things take time to be created.

Now excuse me while I go take a walk to pick up some fried chicken and macoroni and cheese[1] for my daughters.


[1] I see you Associated Press writer.

Two In The Pink, One In the Stink...

Photo Source :: The White House

It has come to my attention that a certain Simian Primate who has evolved from using straw to eat ants to blogging/photography, has a hard time keeping my name out of her mouth today.

Let me break this down so you'll understand...

Please stop using my name in vein to drive traffic to your pathetic website. I'm sorry that I don't fall into the elitist catogory of superstars such as Tameka "Tiny" Cottle, Kim Porter, and Monica.

I know you probably like me, have nothing against me and frequently fantasize about me, you, and Beyonce in a three-way. But enough is enough. It's none of your business who I move into the White House. You, nor did half of your cousins/readers know what or who a Secretary of the State was until yesterday.

If blogging is a representation of who you are, than you my primate friend are a lonely, lesbian, with delusions of grandeur. But on a positive note, you give me great material for this blog. You blog about me 5x a day, I blog about you. So I feel as though this blog makes us even.

Cha Cha Slide or Cupid Shuffle?

So word on the curb is that I have not asked Jennifer Hudson to perform at my Inaugural Ball. Well, the truth is I haven't asked anybody to perform.

Via MTV:

The invitation would make sense, given that Obama has often expressed his love for the kind of classic R&B with which Hudson has made her name and that the Oscar-winning singer/actress is from the South Side of Chicago, not far from Obama's home base. But nobody has been asked to perform just yet, and Hudson has been in virtual seclusion for the past several weeks since the murders of her mother, brother and young nephew last month.

Even though no offers have gone out, that hasn't stopped other artists, such as Beyoncé, from offering their services. B recently said she'd love to sing in honor of the nation's first black president.

Let me take out this time to apologize to Jenny for not inviting her to sing at my Inaugural Ball. There really is no reason for me to not have taken out the time to extend the invitation within the 9 days that I have been elected president. And there is really no excuse not to request you services since you just buried three of your close family members last week. Sorry MTV, what was I thinking?

With all the pressing issues that this Country faces, its good to know that MTV is covering hot topics such as who will I pick to sing at the Inaugural Ball, Deena Jones or Effie White?

Will Sasha and Malia have a guest appearance on the Hannah Montana Show?

What kind of dog are you picking as the presidential first dog?

What outfit will Michelle wear?

Will the Cha Cha Slide or the Cupid Shuffle be performed at the end of the ball?

The Inaugral Ball ain't until January 20, 2009. Lets take baby steps and focus on small things such as the war and economic state of America first before we dive in and start to worry about bigger issues such as who will perfom at the ball.

Allow Me To Reintroduce Myself...

Well, where should I start? Up until two years ago many of you who don't live in the Chicago, Illinois area may very well never heard of me. My full name is Barack Hussein [Don't Get It Twisted] Obama aka Barry.

I'm currentlty the 44th President of the United States of America. I'm the first African-American president, youngest president elected, and the only president with more myspace friends than Tom. Let's start off with facts about me that some people who voted for me may have failed to retain.

Education/Hobby

I'm a graduate of Columbia College of Columbia University and Harvard Law School, where I was president of the Harvard Law Review. As for a hobby ...I don't know Karate, but I know Ka-razy.

What were you doing before you became Prez?

Besides laying it down on Michelle, I worked as a community organizer and practiced as a civil rights attorney before serving three terms in the Illinois Senate from 1997 to 2004. I taught constitutional law at the University of Chicago Law School from 1992 to 2004. Following an unsuccessful bid for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives in 2000, I announced my campaign for the U.S. Senate in January 2003, won a primary victory in March 2004, and was elected to the Senate in November 2004. I also delivered the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in July 2004. And on February 10, 2007, I announced my candidacy for President of the United States.

Have you ever done drugs?

Hellz yeah, I've done weed, cocaine, and drank alcohol. But if you recall the 2008 Civil Forum on the Presidency, you'd know I already admitted to that! I've also been spotted at church, libraries, hospitals, gentlemen's club, swap meets, liquor stores, gas stations, grocery stores, and gentlemen's clubs...I thought I just put that out there before any scandals break out.

Are you still civil with the Rev. Jeremeiah Wright?

I took him off my top 8 myspace friends. We can't be friends [1].

How did you meet your wife, Michelle?

You may have heard that Michelle, or "Chelli Chelz," as I affectionately call her, shot me down when I asked her to date me. Let me tell you the real story...

While at work, I stepped outside to take a smoke break. Chelli Chelz, who at that time was assigned to be my advisor for three months, came out to tell me that the coffee she made was ready. Just to get my attention she sent a note and a drink. When we made eye connection, she just nodded and winked. On this note it said:" It's Bout' time we get together, lets dance now hook up later we can do whatever" She had confidence, but it's all part of the game. Cos' to her who I’m don't really mean a thing. She knew just what I like. And now I'm thirsty for more Seduction.

I hope that answers the question.

Did you really quit smoking, or do you continue to smoke wif[2] cigarettes?
Yes

Anything else the public should know about you?

My secret service codename is Renegade. Google me baby.

Last but not least, do you walk on water or are you human?

Yes

References

[1] Reh Dogg taught me along time ago,"Online friendships hurt". Oh, and about talking reckless about me Reh Dogg...Fuck You! Haters of your caliber and the likes of other new world monkeys will be the constant highlight of this here blog.

[2] I can never resist the the urge to reference the Talented and Gifted Child of 2008.